How I Learned to Appreciate Innocence

First of all, happy birthday to my kid-brother who's now 16. Yeah, totally remembered that your birthday was two weeks ago and realized that I'm a crappy sister. I give you permission to sell all my things on ebay to make up for it. Love you, Trev.

Now, for the big news. I'M STAYING IN ANNECY!!!!!!! And even bigger news...I'M SERVING WITH A MEXICAN! Her name is Sœur Cerdhe and she is evidence that revelation exists because we are seriously the perfect companionship. She's going to speak in Spanish to me (we've set aside "Spanish days") and in exchange I'm teaching her guitar. This transfer is going to be cotton candy.

The work has hit ground zero here, but...honestly, we're determined little folks. Annecy is going to explode with Mormons by the end of these six weeks, so be watching the news for that. My transfer with Sœur Sovaleni taught me so much and I will look back on our transfer as one of my favorite memories of my mission. She was sad to leave Annecy, but her loveliness is needed in Switzerland.

FACTS I LEARNED:

• My new favorite thing to make for people: Cookie Jars. Make a bunch of small cookies and put them in a jelly jar and then you have the perfect thing to endear people with. I want to be baking on Grandma status by the end of my mission!!

• According to my old companion: Turtles cry when they're sad. Like, with tears. 

• According to my new companion, who just finished serving with another Mexican: Mexicans have serious issues with other Mexicans who try to tell them what to do. I think it's hilarious.

This week's episode of "How to Be Smooth on the Phone":

Investigator (age 62): "Sœur Green, I'm so glad you called. I don't think I told you about my friend that had his first child when he was 57..."

Me: "Oh! Well that is quite different. Do you mind if we share a scripture with you really quick?"

Can I just say what a wake up call this last week of my life has been? It was so loud, my ears are still recovering. I think I have seen more hardship, more cultural differences, and more suffering that exists in this world on my mission than I have throughout my entire life. This week was especially unique. Not for any particular reason, per se, but I've never been bombarded with so much "reality." Ever. 

Last week, I went to Geneva again for an exchange with one of the other missionaries and taught a very kind man from Gambia. Towards the end of the lesson with him, we asked him if he was interested in being baptized. He replied, "My father is a big man in Gambia. If my family knew I was looking into Christianity, I would be killed immediately." 

Shortly after this experience, we walked by a row of apartment buildings and heard a child crying. We looked around and found a toddler screaming for his mother by the backdoor of one apartment with a stoic father behind him looking down at him crossing his arms. I was so anxious to leave Switzerland. There were things I saw that I really wish didn't happen.

Arriving in Annecy was a relief, but for some reason, I was just hit with so many insane situations within a couple of days that I never saw up until this point. My companion was contacting an angry, smoking man who decided that it would be okay to grab me and start putting his mouth on my face (yeah, that's all I care to say. I'm still angry about it); That evening, we taught a 60 year old woman from Africa who told us her mother was 11 years older than her; The next evening, we were followed home by a man for 20 minutes and we had to hide behind a building until he gave up; And, because life decided that I didn't have enough adventure for one week, I was almost robbed by a gypsy on the way home from church who started to grab at my coat and my scarf, telling me that her fully-dressed, content child standing next to her was cold and needed things to keep her warm. GAHHH!!! WHY NOW???

There's something to be said about innocence. Not necessarily "ignorance," but a sense of comfort and trust in your surroundings and the people around you. It is a blessing. I wouldn't say that I want to erase the memories of what have happened, because there is a reason for every experience we have. I'm also not saying that I've seen the worst of it, because that would be ignorant to claim. But, it's been a labor to keep an optimistic, soul-searching attitude after the experiences that I've had recently. 

I can't express fully or competently the gratitude I have for the knowledge of the teachings of Christ. The longer I live and the more I learn, the more I realize how crucial it is to remember the reason of why we are here and the purpose for the things we experience in this life. I love my Savior and the knowledge of the love He has for us. We have to remember that He has experienced these things LONG before we have. It is a test in this life to overcome the natural reaction to the things that happen, even if you don't understand the reason for them. I have a testimony of that. I can tell you with confidence that there is a light at the end of every tunnel if you are willing to walk the distance. 

I love you all. Keep being the wonderful examples that you are.

Sœur Green

How I Learned to Love Acceptance

So you're probably wondering about our one progressing investigator.... 

We've put off his date once again to the end of November because he hasn't been coming to church. His reason: HE PLAYS PING PONG. He has tournaments every Sunday and can't skip them because this is a national league...................yeah, those exist. He is so perfect and ready, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I curse the game of ping pong and everyone associated with it's creation every day of my life.

In other news, my companion and I have been passing the good times working with members in the branch. It's actually a lot more tiring than you'd think. 

The other night, I crawled up into my top bunk to say my nighttime prayer and I started to hear snoring. When I looked over the side of my bed, I saw my companion still kneeling next to her bed in the middle of her prayer. Yeah, that's the level of tired I'm talking about. Whenever I have a moment to think to myself while we're out walking to a rendez-vous in the pouring rain, I just picture my future husband doing push-ups over a textbook. Blessings aren't always immediate for the sacrifices I'm making now, ya know...

FACTS I LEARNED:

• If you watch the Joseph Smith film with a recent convert who is a 65 year-old widowed Italian woman, chances are it will yield 1 hour and 9 minutes of commentary on how beautiful the actor is.

• Every member in our branch has at least 12 cats, which is great if you know me personally. My sinuses and throat have literally been swelled with great joy for days now.

• I have taught my Tahitian companion the following phrases and words in English: awkward, sketchy, creepy, I dig it, yikes, Got 'em, frick, and "INEEDAPEE!!" (That last one is her favorite. It sounds cute in a Tahitian accent.)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

*conversation I had with my companion (in French) at a bus stop:

Me: "It's a movie with Will Ferrell."

Soeur Sovaleni: "Who???"

Me: "I'm sorry....WEE-LL FARE-HELL"

Soeur Sovaleni: "OOOHHHH. Okay."

As I alluded to in the paragraph above, I have had quite the week. I don't know why my youth has suddenly been sucked out of me, but waking up, being attentive, being SINCERE, being present in the moment has just been close to impossible for me. Just the news you were probably looking for, I'm sure. It's been a painful climb back on my feet after trying to focus on the "most important things" that I mentioned last week. It's a slow learning process, and one of the things I learned that is key in coming back to reality is saying no. It's that simple. 

I accepted that fact that I can't be the missionary that knows how to handle a non-French speaking Spaniard who needs to be escorted through church on Sunday or the missionary that plays all the hymns perfectly on the piano during our meetings or the missionary that can rattle off scripture references off the top of her head like they're facts about her life or blah blah this or blah blah that. I've accepted it. I realized that I was like a kid who wants to give their parents a piggy back ride because she saw her parents doing the same with their other kids. It works for the parents because they've grown big enough to hold the child, but the child doesn't recognize that she still needs time to grow. I feel like that in a lot of ways. It's really egocentrical when I think about it. I know better. I know my limits. I know what God would rather me do instead of comparing myself to those who've already had that time to grow. 

It's refreshing, actually, to be able to tell people no, you can't, you haven't had the time to practice or the time to learn. God doesn't want you to stress yourself out beyond your capacity to feel the influence He wants to have in your life. I've been learning more and more how to recognize my limits and how far I can push myself before God tells me, "Okay, I think you're biting off a little too much." Several times I choked this week, and after about a tear here and there (or a waterfall, if you will), I realized this isn't what He wants me to be doing. I'm accepting my prematurity and I'm focusing on what will make me the most effective servant He wants me to be. I'll still practice, I'll still study, I'll still take on challenges, but walking is a prerequisite to running still.

I love you so much. I has been brought to my attention also that I have family in the South reading my blog that aren't even Mormon. Shout out ta y'all over there!! As my nana told me when I was growing up in the boonies of Georgia, "I love you more than a hog loves slop."

Take care.

Sœur Green
P.S. Some pics:

MY COOKIES ARE FINALLY ROUND!

Wandered into a Castle and found a Fishing Museum :)

Just outside Annecy in a little town called Rumilly.

How I Learned to Love Simplicity

Update on the work here: slow, very slow. We won't be seeing a baptism this transfer, but I will get to see our investigator get baptized if I stay for at least ONE more transfer. I'm getting a little tired of packing every six weeks, but every transfer has been an adventure. This one more than others probably. My time here has been special and crucial to my spiritual and emotional growth. It's a place I will never forget with people I have truly come to love. It's a replay of Carcassonne all over again, but the French version :)

FACTS I LEARNED:

• My companion loves Zelda and Assassin's Creed. She truly is my Tahitian counterpart.

• I am handicapped in a kitchen setting. Give me any recipe, and I promise you that, despite following all the directions with great care and attentiveness, I will destroy any kind of food's level of edibility (I may have invented that word. It's been a long time since I've tried to speak proper English). Seriously, the first thought that came to my mind this week as I wrenched a batch of deformed cookies from the oven was, "I'm going to die alone."

I didn't notice this before my mission, but I have a disorder. It's the inability to take things off a to-do list once they're put on there. My brain cannot grasp the concept of prioritizing activities and goals. Even now, I'm debating whether I've truly learned to love it. IT'S PAINFUL! I've got French, Spanish, piano, "baking", making thank you cards, organizing my perpetually messy desk, making calls for appointments, updating the area book, this, that, these, those, etc. etc. etc. blah, blah *EXPLOSION*. It's disgusting.

This has impacted my ability to focus on the task at hand. My poor companion has been try to snap me out of my trance for a while now, and I'm hoping that I'm coming back to reality. I feel a little more lucid, but crazy people don't know when they're crazy, you know? It's been a fight trying to invite the Spirit back into my life to help me know what I should do to help my companion and those I teach. It's a very unpleasant feeling, I learned, when God has to shut the door on you for a minute for you to realize that you need to knock again. For a while I was getting a nice crossbreeze and progressing so much, but now I realize that God is there FOR ME. I'm not here to do His work without Him having a say in what's going to happen. I'm a little sheepish to admit that my pride got the best of me and I had to, once again, ring God's doorbell and tell Him sorry I tried to make all these changes to His house when He didn't even ask for those things. 

Priortizing. Gross, but necessary. I have to remember that I'm human. One of the ordinary ones. And the story continues. You guys should remind me every now and again to use my time wisely. I can't retain that concept for too long, haha.

Que Dieu Beni Chacun de Vous. I love you all so much. Keep being my examples. 

Sœur Green

An Experience that Changed Me

So I talked to my companion and she agreed to stop scheduling work on our P-days (preparation days) so we can actually rest from serious business. Hooray for real blog entries!! And hooray for hard-working companions who understand my need to wind down!! (She's Tahitian...it's so oxymoronic!) 

I also want to express my gratitude for all the wonderful birthday messages I received but not yet had the chance to respond to. I still love you!!

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Aix-les-Bains + Faverges = paradise

• Spaniards are just as bad as Italians when it comes to physical contact in conversation. Or maybe my American cultural bubble of personal space is bigger than normal. Comme même.

• Fact I keep being reminded of: I have the greatest family and friends. Ever. 

So I only have an hour of computer time each week now because I'm not willing to pay 5 euros for an hour and a half. Basically, I'll just quickly share an experience that changed me and hopefully will change some of your perspectives as well. 

I was on an exchange in grand Lyon last week and I had the chance to teach a Muslim man for the first time. He had told us he had snuck out of his house to hear our message because he can't let anyone find out he's learning about another religion. That's how dedicated this man was. As we dove into our lesson, we realized that we had to start at square one because this man didn't even know who Christ was or what He did. All he knew was that He was some kind of "prophet." So, as expected, we shared our testimonies. But I felt something very different this time. 

I felt gratitude beyond what I've ever felt before while teaching about the Atonement. What a crucial piece of knowledge it is to know that there is someone who loves you so much that He was willing to die for you to be able to return to live with God. How crucial it is to know that you can find happiness in your trials here in this life. 

We then went into the concept of prayer once we felt he understood who Christ was. He did not understand at all that prayer was a conversation between us and God and that we can communicate to him through the Spirit. He was incredulous for the entire lesson up until my companion and I prayed for him so that he could hear and feel what a real conversation with God was like. Immediately after, we asked him to try. 

I cry thinking about this. Never on my mission have I gotten the chance to hear someone talk to God for the first time and describe the feelings that they felt. How blessed I am to have seen that. How blessed I am to know about prayer and God's love for each of us. I encourage all of you who have all had the opportunity to utilize this blessing in your life to think about that when you are praying this week. I can't describe it really, but for me, I feel a new level of sincerity and peace. Que Dieu vous benisse, tout le monde. Je vous aime avec tout mon coeur.

Sœur Green

In Which I Make a List or Two...

For my blog this week I will make a list or two...

(But before I do that, THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!! I did not ask my mom to announce that....just sayin'.)

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Tahitians will look at you as if you are the diablo in the flesh if you squash an insect.

• There are Muslims in the world named Christian. 

• Italian men and women of all ages are the touchiest people I've ever met in my existence. They will make sure they are touching a part of you if you are engaged in a conversation with them. Everytime.

• Half-Cambodian children have awakened a dormant desire in my heart to adopt every ethnic child in the world.

~SPECIAL EDITION: FACE-PALMS OF THE WEEK~ (because they're too priceless not to report)

• During a lesson, our investigator looked us straight in the eye and said: "I do not believe in answers to prayers. I believe in....magic."

• That same person came across a great discovery in the middle of our lesson that I was a mormon who was baptized and my companion was too. 

• The closing prayer during Relief Society given by a recent convert (who I love so much): "Thank you, God, for the chance we had to go to....Oh, what's it called..." "The temple." "AH YES! The temple."

• During a RDV with an Evangelist: "This textbook I hold in my hand is the word of God."

And, of course, THE MIRACLES:

Okay, I'll be brief... 

Basically, my companion and I got the feeling we should pass by a less-active church member who lived quite a-ways away. We felt strongly enough that we cancelled a lesson we had to go to in order to see this woman. 

When we knocked on her door, she opened it and immediately started bawling. She told us that her son had died three days ago and that if we had tried to come any sooner, she wouldn't have let us in. She talked to us a bit and mentioned a few church members in the branch she remembered were really nice to her and she would like to go back to church to see them again. 

AND BEFORE WENT TO HER HOUSE, we were talking with one of the members she mentioned who told us if we ever had a less-active church member that needs help, just call her. God did this on purpose, folks.

I don't have time to write all my experiences, but I could go on for days probably. Know that God has the desire to work through you, even if you're not a missionary, EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A CHURCH MEMBER.

I love you. I pray for you. You make me so happy :)

Sœur Green