How I Learned to Love a Good Wake-up Call

Update: I'm staying in Annecy and receiving a new companion who was actually with me in the MTC! She's a Texan. So, that's cool. The busy Christmas season is coming up and we are preparing for two baptisms, so I'm kind of in survival mode as of late. Things are well, but we are going to have to wade through some very deep complications with our investigators and ward. Ah..........life............ :D

(Insert positive comments here.)

FACTS I LEARNED:

• I have proudly earned some olive-toned dark circles. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

• Rice and beans do not belong in tortillas. My last companion was very adamant about me knowing this.

Yikes. Today may or may not be my halfway mark. It's disgusting how fast time can fly by. I still feel like I haven't even done anything yet! It's kind of a not-good feeling, ya know? I look at where I am now and what I thought I'd be at this point, and it's a tad stress-inducing. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't trained yet or why I'm not better at contacting or why I can't speak Spanish or why this or why that. But what I had to humble myself and really focus on this week was much more important. I had to mature a bit and look at my spiritual growth. Have I been focused on developing more Christ-like attributes? Have I been consecrated to this work? Have I been giving my entire heart to this work? Have I been remembering all the lessons I've learned? 

Honestly, I've been feeling lucid on my death bed this past transfer. I've been feeling that I've been falling way below what God has expected of me and what I expected of myself. I apologize ahead of time for quoting a Spielberg film, but it kind of reminds me of the scene in "Schindler's List" where Oskar, a rich man, is surrounded by all the Jews he saved from concentration camps and his friend turns to him and says that all these people were saved because of the things he did. After that, Oskar begins to break down and pull out his wallet and take off his rings and his watch and talking about the car he bought and the expensive wine he drank and the vacations he went on and telling his friend that each one of these useless things could have been another soul he could have saved.

I feel like that.

I feel like now is the time to take off the rings, take out the wallet, stop going on vacation, and start fully consecrating myself for the people that need what the gospel has to offer. Nine months sounds like an awful long time to most people. I pray that it'll be enough.

What a way to kick off this Christmas season with a message like that, haha. Know that your support is keeping me afloat in all this. I appreciate each one of you more than you will ever know. I love you so much. 

Sœur Green