How I Learned to Love Bridging the Gaps

Cool miracle week! The Elders in Annecy found a woman they want us to teach (because she has had bad experiences with men and they don't want to freak her out). She's from Algeria and no longer practices Islam. She's so timid and sweet. She's already come to several activities at the church. We also found a woman from the Congo that told us that she had a dream about meeting us the night before, which is about 90% probable. Africans have lots of "those dreams" :). Maria and the gang are going well. We finally got ALL the family members to join us. I can't wait to piece this eternal family together. Maria is so incredible. She's still preparing for the 11th. 

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Snails are actually quite delicious. Not to be cliché, but THEY TASTE LIKE CHICKEN.

• Gluten-free diets are great for the first week....and then it hits you that it's permanent.

• I have the worst sweet tooth known to man. It's a miracle I've never had a cavity. A miracle, folks.

I'm typing up a page from my study journal today. It's a messy jumble of ideas, but it's the message I'm offering you this almost New Year's Eve:

"I was reflecting a bit on my behavior an attitude as a first transfer and how that compares to now. After remembering many of my mistakes (and, naturally, seeing others mirror them), I noticed a pattern that most, if not all of us, seem to follow.

"One of the main sources that hinder us from making real progress is hinged on our capacity and humility to recognize a gap between what our words convey and is brought about by our actions. As a first transfer, I shared many opinions about how to work, how to treat others, how to do this aspect of missionary work, etc. But, it wasn't until recently that I noticed a gap that separated what I thought I believed and what I actually demonstrated.

"I believe that there is one important catalyst for personal growth that can truly be the hardest thing to accept, and that is to build a bridge that connects your thoughts to your actions, to RECOGNIZE an inconsistency and fix it, regardless of natural intentions. If I were to believe that I was as brave as Ghandi or as loving as Mother Teresa, why would I feel the need to work harder? Once I recognize consciously that there is something I must change, my actions will follow."

I ended my entry with a quote that I found shortly after:

"...There can be no success or happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." -Freya Madeline Stark

C'est tout. I love you all. Even though it's been nine months, I still feel your love and support every day. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Sœur Green

Merry Christmas to all. The green juice is special sauce. Not guts.

Me and my new companion. Apparently there was another age change in France.

Strike of the week: "Ambulance drivers in anger". I'll try to be more careful from now on.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Aside from being astounded by how creative the title is, I have a message for you. 

Before I jump to all that, Update: The Romanian family is doing alright. There have been some road blocks like we predicted, but Maria, the grandmother, set to be baptized on January 11. We have started teaching quite a few new people as well. We found a man from Portugal, another man from Algeria, and A FRENCH WOMAN! Can you believe it? This is rare for all French missionaries. Christmas miracle.

Random shout-outs:  Mi madre because it's obvious how wonderful she is.  Ethan Martel, even though all your letters get sucked into a black hole and it's awkward when I have to email you that I don't get them.  Kacie Woodward, for being awesome.  You may or may not read this, but I've been thinking quite a bit about you lately.  Ash Ross, gurl drop me a line, wuddya?  All my grandparents, because you spoil me so.  All the members of the Harvest Hills 9th ward back when I was still actually going there.  You are wonderful people, ya know.

FACTS I LEARNED:

• My little cousin got engaged recently. I object, Krista. Whatchu be thinkin...

• The nurse of the mission has diagnosed me with a gluten intolerance because I may or may not have been hacking up my guts for the past six weeks. 

• Gluten-free diets are overrated.

• I'm starving...

• Bah, humbug. What's Christmas without a big glop of gluten on your plate...

• Okay, these aren't really facts anymore...

For personal study this past week, I've been centering my focus on Christ and the events surrounding His birth. Most of my reading was done in a hefty libro called "Jesus the Christ," and I've got some food for thought that you should partake of this Christmas season. Here is one of my favorite excerpts:

"And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

"Tidings of such import had never before been delivered by angel or received by man -- good tidings of great joy, given to but few and those among the humblest of earth, but destined to spread to all people. There is a sublime grandeur in the scene, as there is divine authorship in the message, and the climax is such as the mind of man could never have conceived-- the sudden appearance of the heavenly host, singing audibly to human ears the briefest, most consistent and truly complete of all the songs of peace ever attuned by mortal or spirit choir. WHAT A CONSUMMATION TO BE WISHED-- Peace on earth! But how can such come except through the maintenance of good will toward men? And through what means could glory to God in the highest be more effectively rendered?" (Talmage, 93-94).

As I read this, I was able to paint a mental image of something that, to the contrary, couldn't be completely finished. It is said to be something that "the mind of man could never have conceived," something of "sublime grandeur." Pretty classy, right? My favorite part comes in towards the end when Talmage exerts the importance of good will toward men. It leads to peace on earth. In essence: it renders glory to God.

What can I do to bring glory to God this Christmas season with an emphasis placed on the birth of our Savior? What can we ALL do in act of bringing good will toward men? Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, but now as a missionary, I get to truly feel the sincere meaning of this time. 

Thanks again for all your love and support. It has been a wondeful gift to me. 

JOYEUX NOËL!!!!

Sœur Green

(Cool Blog Title)

So this week, instead of rehashing all of the lessons that I learn repeatedly throughout this difficult experience, I want to talk about the blessings. 

Knowing that there is a reason for all opposition has been humbling. This month has been a weak point in my mission, I'll be honest. I can't spill a continuous waterfall of miracles and awesome moments, but I can tell you that every second of this trial has been worth knowing that God is refining me into something better.

I was talking to another missionary the other day about the time she almost went home in her second transfer. She was in the car on the way to our mission president's house with another missionary. The other missionary was really upset that she was leaving and tried to talk her out of it. She said she couldn't stay because she didn't feel like she was good enough and that God was disappointed with her for not progressing. The other missionary stopped the car and said: "God promised you change after eighteen months. You've only been here for three. God can't promise you change if you can't promise your time."

What an incredible lesson that is. I can tell you the pressure is heavy out in the mission field, but the burden makes you so much stronger. It is what the Savior died for. That we could change. That we can use the knowledge we gain from our trials toward becoming better people. Easy? No. Possible? Because of Him.

I've been doing some really cool doctrinal studies about the birth of Christ in honor of Christmas. I decided to delay posting them until Christmas comes around. Remember Him while you're with your family, your spouse, your friends, with your dog, or whoever you're going to celebrate with this year. Let our knowledge of Him and the opportunities we are given to grow effect us the way God intended them. God bless all of you. Happy growing and Merry early Christmas!!

Sœur Green

P.S. Shout out to my Dad. You're wonderful. Thank you so much.

ROMANIAN BABY. I could just squeeze this little guy all day. He's a rascal, but so adorable.

Swan photobomb. Merry Christmas to all.

My future hobo island, Annecy.

How I Learned to Love a Good Wake-up Call

Update: I'm staying in Annecy and receiving a new companion who was actually with me in the MTC! She's a Texan. So, that's cool. The busy Christmas season is coming up and we are preparing for two baptisms, so I'm kind of in survival mode as of late. Things are well, but we are going to have to wade through some very deep complications with our investigators and ward. Ah..........life............ :D

(Insert positive comments here.)

FACTS I LEARNED:

• I have proudly earned some olive-toned dark circles. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

• Rice and beans do not belong in tortillas. My last companion was very adamant about me knowing this.

Yikes. Today may or may not be my halfway mark. It's disgusting how fast time can fly by. I still feel like I haven't even done anything yet! It's kind of a not-good feeling, ya know? I look at where I am now and what I thought I'd be at this point, and it's a tad stress-inducing. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't trained yet or why I'm not better at contacting or why I can't speak Spanish or why this or why that. But what I had to humble myself and really focus on this week was much more important. I had to mature a bit and look at my spiritual growth. Have I been focused on developing more Christ-like attributes? Have I been consecrated to this work? Have I been giving my entire heart to this work? Have I been remembering all the lessons I've learned? 

Honestly, I've been feeling lucid on my death bed this past transfer. I've been feeling that I've been falling way below what God has expected of me and what I expected of myself. I apologize ahead of time for quoting a Spielberg film, but it kind of reminds me of the scene in "Schindler's List" where Oskar, a rich man, is surrounded by all the Jews he saved from concentration camps and his friend turns to him and says that all these people were saved because of the things he did. After that, Oskar begins to break down and pull out his wallet and take off his rings and his watch and talking about the car he bought and the expensive wine he drank and the vacations he went on and telling his friend that each one of these useless things could have been another soul he could have saved.

I feel like that.

I feel like now is the time to take off the rings, take out the wallet, stop going on vacation, and start fully consecrating myself for the people that need what the gospel has to offer. Nine months sounds like an awful long time to most people. I pray that it'll be enough.

What a way to kick off this Christmas season with a message like that, haha. Know that your support is keeping me afloat in all this. I appreciate each one of you more than you will ever know. I love you so much. 

Sœur Green

Picture Day

Before I get to the fun stuff, I just want to say thank you so much for your prayers. Our Romanian family came to church (just the grandmother and the daughter-in-law because all the kids were sick) and they loved it. They are progressing so fast!! We also started teaching a Muslim from Albania that actually is kind of Christian? yeah. He's really cool. We are being blessed with so many great investigators!

So we taught a lesson to a nine year-old in the hospital wearing caps, aprons and gloves. She was misdiagnosed with meningitis and will get to leave very soon. Hardest lesson I ever taught. 

We got to do exchanges in Annamasse this week and saw some really cool miracles...and also some really cool graffiti...

Kacey Hutchinson: Just so you know, I tell all the missionaries over here 

that I dated a Lacoste model.

We got to celebrate French Thanksgiving this week with a half-American family that included raspberry pie and chicken (because Thanksgiving-type food, as you can imagine, is not actually available in France or is incredibly expensive).

"If you catch me on tha borda, I got visas in mah name!"

Arabian peanut butter. Just cuz.

Life is grand.

Have a great week!

Sœur Green

P.S. I thought I would quickly add that during the week, a seven year-old asked me if I was Green Lantern's girlfriend. My rep amongst the primary kids just went up.

How I Learned to Love Stepping Down

This week was actually the hardest week of my mission. Scratch that. My life. I feel as though I say that too often, but alas, life always seems to find ways to one-up my past experiences haha.

Snow has already started to fall down in buckets here. Occasionally we get a break, but then there's always that beloved slosh that you have to walk in everywhere. This Georgia girl is still adapting. That time in Utah didn't prepare me well enough for this!!!

Cool miracle: I got to teach my first lesson in SPANISH. Sœur Cerdhé wanted to meet up with a lady she had taught and was baptized in Geneva while we were there for a conference, so we went, we taught, and now I have a new favorite human being!! She's a little 4'9" Peruvian with the strongest faith I've ever seen. She's been living in Switzerland for medical treatment (she has cancer) and she hasn't seen her husband for 8 years. She is the most incredible person. I can't express it any more deeper than that.

Update on our family: They've got DATES. Baptismal ones. And we're excited. Really, really excited :)

Ana Luz and Us

Me and Sœur Cerdhé

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Algeria produces some beautiful people. Good grief.

• Romanian chocolate cake = new Klondike bar?

• If you give an Italian woman the Book of Mormon, chances are she'll want to cook you lunch.

• If you give an American missionary with pride issues practically raw meat still gushing red juice for lunch, chances are her experienced Mexican companion will diagnose the both of you with parasites weeks later.

• If you give an inexperienced American missionary parasite medication, chances are her body will react as though she has cholera. At one in the morning. And at four. And for the next two days after that.

Despite this week being filled with EXTREME physical and spiritual opposition, we know that we're scaring the livin' daylights out of the adversary. How do we know this? Our last rendez-vous with the Rupa family was the most spirit-driven, most successful, and most eye-opening lesson I've ever had. We asked the grandmother if she had started to read the Book of Mormon, she flipped open to Chapter 16 in the first book and said she reads it every second she gets (we had given it to her three days beforehand). When we started to explain the plan of salvation, she began to cry (well, sob) and kept repeating over and over that this is true. All of it is true. She accepted a date for three weeks later to get baptized, along with all her daughters and daughter-in-laws.

There was one thing I noticed that I let myself do differently in this lesson. I stopped trying to think of everything I needed to say beforehand, like what they tell you not to do in the MTC. Just lean on the Spirit. God took control of that entire lesson, and now we can help this beautiful family take the necessary steps toward Him. I love my calling. Just so you know. There isn't another feeling that compares to having God work through you to help others feel that same peace. Swallowing pride and stepping down. Who would have thought that those MTC teachers were right??

I love you. I pray for you. If there was anything I could want more this Christmas season, it would be your prayers for this family. They've already started to get a wave of opposition. Thank you. Your prayers make all the difference.

Sœur Green

Counting Blessings...

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there. I decided to share just un petit peu of my gratitude and the blessings I see every day to feel that holiday spirit despite being on the other side of the Atlantic. I hope it is a good day for all of you!!

First off, I'm thankful for my calling and every experience that it has given me. Everyone in my family, ward, and group of friends that have made this possible for me holds a special place in my heart and always will. I hope you reap every blessing that God gives you. You are generous and loving people.

I must share my thanks for all of those we teach, especially our new BIG family that harbors so much hope and faith despite their crippling trials.

I am so thankful to be a part of something this genuine and lasting. I have never felt so accomplished and ready to take on whatever comes. There have been so many people that have impacted me so greatly and provided me with such a valuable perspective, it's impossible to say that God didn't have a hand in making these things happen.

In brief, I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who gives me a life that I clearly don't deserve. I am thankful for His patience with my shortcomings. I am thankful for His hand that has pulled me up when I've found myself sinking.

Thank you so much for who you are and your desire to be great people. Don't ever lose that fire. Your worth is immeasurable. I love you. Take care. Walk off all that turkey so you can enjoy Christmas :)

Sœur Green

Some pictures to make you happy:

How I Learned to Love Measuring My Own Progression

Miracle week has arrived. Today, we had a lesson with the cutest family who has just started coming to our branch in Annecy. Before that, we had a miracle lesson in the train station while we were waiting for our train to get to their house. The man was an ex-Muslim from Guinea and was PREPARED to meet us. He took a Book of Mormon and wants to see us again. 

After our lesson with our member family, we tried to visit a less-active church member who we found out moved away because his name isn't on the building sonnerie. So, we prayed, got the feeling we should start walking south, and not coincidently, we knocked on the door of a family from Romania who let us right in and let us start teaching all 20 of them that were crammed in there, haha. I could cry, I'm so happy. Nothing is more rewarding than teaching families the gospel. They were so open and told us to come by this Friday with a Romanian Book of Mormon. 

I want to thank you all for your prayers and support. This is what you are helping make happen. I could probably list off so many more things, but the internet cafe closes in 10 minutes and I'm trying to type on this crazy French keyboard as fast as I can.

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Putting off your emails until the evening is a stupid idea.

• Professional Ping Pong tournaments are INTENSE. Our investigator invited us to one of his matches and I seriously was sweating the entire time. You can't even keep your eye on the ball, you have to follow the player's movements!

• If you combine mine and Soeur Cerdhé's names in Spanish, we're Hermanas Cerdhé and Verde. Yeah. Basically, we're Spanish superheroes here to baptize the world.

• My calling is the coolest experience ever and I so badly want to get an extension......

I must admit that recently I've discovered yet another flaw that spots my moral complexion. Up until not long ago, I had trouble comparing myself to the performance of other missionaries. In short, I was comparing my weaknesses to their strengths. Yeah. I know. When I write it out bluntly, I see how stupid it is. But really, when you are serving with a companion that has literally every positive trait in the book, how else are you supposed to feel?? I've conscientiously had to monitor my thoughts and stop thinking every negative thing I think about myself. It truly does impact my performance and ability to show my love for others. It's been a lesson in humility for me. I've never leaned so hard on prayer. Progress is only accurately measured in relation to you and your past self. If you are like me, MEMORIZE THAT. Believe me, it will make you so much happier. 

I love you all. I want you all to know that. I pray for you and for your happiness. You are definitely a contributor to mine. Bonne semaine!!

Hermana Verde

How I Learned to Love Just Being a Friend

Un Petit Message

So, this has been the start of Miracle Week. Our investigator who dropped off the face of the earth (aka left for Switzerland without giving us a heads up or a call) FINALLY CALLED US THIS MORNING! Also, our two other investigators are doing fairly well. We still feel like we need to find someone new, however, in order to reach our goal of baptizing someone in the month of November. Lots of praying and hard work is being dedicated to this goal. I've finally been able to trump my fear of making calls to strangers, so we've been keeping the phone in our hands from morning until evening, sending off texts and making calls whenever we can. It's going to happen. I can feel it in my bones.

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Legitimate Mexican tortillas are fairly simple to make (and consume.....in large amounts). 

• There are French people that think Dora the explorer is a French show. Are you kidding me??? If it was French, Dora would be from friggin' Spain, not MEXICO. C'mon people. This is where my American patriotism starts to flare up. :)

• Unfortunately, the genders for nouns in Spanish are NOT the same in French. That just made my life about a thousand times harder, but I'm still determined comme même. Esta bien todavia.

I tried to take the Frenchiest photo ever. Success?

My companion is such a great example to me. She has taught me so much already, especially the importance of just being nice to people. It was hard for me to understand why she'd just have random conversations with people and not even tell them who we were or what our message is. She just focuses on making their day better. 

And I love that. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily goals of having lessons and contacting a certain amount of people, that I forget that I'm actually working with people, not numbers. It's a great reminder and one that I need often apparently, haha. Sœur Cerdhé is such a great example of charity and I hope that many people can appreciate her efforts to be a light to the world rather than a burden.

In honor of my last companion, Ua here vau ia oe. It's "I love you" in Tahitian. And yeah, I mean that sincerely. Have a wonderful week and stay tuned for more miracles.

Hermana Verde

P.S. More pics...

My next best friend in Geneva, his name... Bond... James Bond

One of my favorite towns when it's not raining like an apocalypse. Faverges.

How I Learned to Appreciate Innocence

First of all, happy birthday to my kid-brother who's now 16. Yeah, totally remembered that your birthday was two weeks ago and realized that I'm a crappy sister. I give you permission to sell all my things on ebay to make up for it. Love you, Trev.

Now, for the big news. I'M STAYING IN ANNECY!!!!!!! And even bigger news...I'M SERVING WITH A MEXICAN! Her name is Sœur Cerdhe and she is evidence that revelation exists because we are seriously the perfect companionship. She's going to speak in Spanish to me (we've set aside "Spanish days") and in exchange I'm teaching her guitar. This transfer is going to be cotton candy.

The work has hit ground zero here, but...honestly, we're determined little folks. Annecy is going to explode with Mormons by the end of these six weeks, so be watching the news for that. My transfer with Sœur Sovaleni taught me so much and I will look back on our transfer as one of my favorite memories of my mission. She was sad to leave Annecy, but her loveliness is needed in Switzerland.

FACTS I LEARNED:

• My new favorite thing to make for people: Cookie Jars. Make a bunch of small cookies and put them in a jelly jar and then you have the perfect thing to endear people with. I want to be baking on Grandma status by the end of my mission!!

• According to my old companion: Turtles cry when they're sad. Like, with tears. 

• According to my new companion, who just finished serving with another Mexican: Mexicans have serious issues with other Mexicans who try to tell them what to do. I think it's hilarious.

This week's episode of "How to Be Smooth on the Phone":

Investigator (age 62): "Sœur Green, I'm so glad you called. I don't think I told you about my friend that had his first child when he was 57..."

Me: "Oh! Well that is quite different. Do you mind if we share a scripture with you really quick?"

Can I just say what a wake up call this last week of my life has been? It was so loud, my ears are still recovering. I think I have seen more hardship, more cultural differences, and more suffering that exists in this world on my mission than I have throughout my entire life. This week was especially unique. Not for any particular reason, per se, but I've never been bombarded with so much "reality." Ever. 

Last week, I went to Geneva again for an exchange with one of the other missionaries and taught a very kind man from Gambia. Towards the end of the lesson with him, we asked him if he was interested in being baptized. He replied, "My father is a big man in Gambia. If my family knew I was looking into Christianity, I would be killed immediately." 

Shortly after this experience, we walked by a row of apartment buildings and heard a child crying. We looked around and found a toddler screaming for his mother by the backdoor of one apartment with a stoic father behind him looking down at him crossing his arms. I was so anxious to leave Switzerland. There were things I saw that I really wish didn't happen.

Arriving in Annecy was a relief, but for some reason, I was just hit with so many insane situations within a couple of days that I never saw up until this point. My companion was contacting an angry, smoking man who decided that it would be okay to grab me and start putting his mouth on my face (yeah, that's all I care to say. I'm still angry about it); That evening, we taught a 60 year old woman from Africa who told us her mother was 11 years older than her; The next evening, we were followed home by a man for 20 minutes and we had to hide behind a building until he gave up; And, because life decided that I didn't have enough adventure for one week, I was almost robbed by a gypsy on the way home from church who started to grab at my coat and my scarf, telling me that her fully-dressed, content child standing next to her was cold and needed things to keep her warm. GAHHH!!! WHY NOW???

There's something to be said about innocence. Not necessarily "ignorance," but a sense of comfort and trust in your surroundings and the people around you. It is a blessing. I wouldn't say that I want to erase the memories of what have happened, because there is a reason for every experience we have. I'm also not saying that I've seen the worst of it, because that would be ignorant to claim. But, it's been a labor to keep an optimistic, soul-searching attitude after the experiences that I've had recently. 

I can't express fully or competently the gratitude I have for the knowledge of the teachings of Christ. The longer I live and the more I learn, the more I realize how crucial it is to remember the reason of why we are here and the purpose for the things we experience in this life. I love my Savior and the knowledge of the love He has for us. We have to remember that He has experienced these things LONG before we have. It is a test in this life to overcome the natural reaction to the things that happen, even if you don't understand the reason for them. I have a testimony of that. I can tell you with confidence that there is a light at the end of every tunnel if you are willing to walk the distance. 

I love you all. Keep being the wonderful examples that you are.

Sœur Green

How I Learned to Love Acceptance

So you're probably wondering about our one progressing investigator.... 

We've put off his date once again to the end of November because he hasn't been coming to church. His reason: HE PLAYS PING PONG. He has tournaments every Sunday and can't skip them because this is a national league...................yeah, those exist. He is so perfect and ready, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I curse the game of ping pong and everyone associated with it's creation every day of my life.

In other news, my companion and I have been passing the good times working with members in the branch. It's actually a lot more tiring than you'd think. 

The other night, I crawled up into my top bunk to say my nighttime prayer and I started to hear snoring. When I looked over the side of my bed, I saw my companion still kneeling next to her bed in the middle of her prayer. Yeah, that's the level of tired I'm talking about. Whenever I have a moment to think to myself while we're out walking to a rendez-vous in the pouring rain, I just picture my future husband doing push-ups over a textbook. Blessings aren't always immediate for the sacrifices I'm making now, ya know...

FACTS I LEARNED:

• If you watch the Joseph Smith film with a recent convert who is a 65 year-old widowed Italian woman, chances are it will yield 1 hour and 9 minutes of commentary on how beautiful the actor is.

• Every member in our branch has at least 12 cats, which is great if you know me personally. My sinuses and throat have literally been swelled with great joy for days now.

• I have taught my Tahitian companion the following phrases and words in English: awkward, sketchy, creepy, I dig it, yikes, Got 'em, frick, and "INEEDAPEE!!" (That last one is her favorite. It sounds cute in a Tahitian accent.)

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

*conversation I had with my companion (in French) at a bus stop:

Me: "It's a movie with Will Ferrell."

Soeur Sovaleni: "Who???"

Me: "I'm sorry....WEE-LL FARE-HELL"

Soeur Sovaleni: "OOOHHHH. Okay."

As I alluded to in the paragraph above, I have had quite the week. I don't know why my youth has suddenly been sucked out of me, but waking up, being attentive, being SINCERE, being present in the moment has just been close to impossible for me. Just the news you were probably looking for, I'm sure. It's been a painful climb back on my feet after trying to focus on the "most important things" that I mentioned last week. It's a slow learning process, and one of the things I learned that is key in coming back to reality is saying no. It's that simple. 

I accepted that fact that I can't be the missionary that knows how to handle a non-French speaking Spaniard who needs to be escorted through church on Sunday or the missionary that plays all the hymns perfectly on the piano during our meetings or the missionary that can rattle off scripture references off the top of her head like they're facts about her life or blah blah this or blah blah that. I've accepted it. I realized that I was like a kid who wants to give their parents a piggy back ride because she saw her parents doing the same with their other kids. It works for the parents because they've grown big enough to hold the child, but the child doesn't recognize that she still needs time to grow. I feel like that in a lot of ways. It's really egocentrical when I think about it. I know better. I know my limits. I know what God would rather me do instead of comparing myself to those who've already had that time to grow. 

It's refreshing, actually, to be able to tell people no, you can't, you haven't had the time to practice or the time to learn. God doesn't want you to stress yourself out beyond your capacity to feel the influence He wants to have in your life. I've been learning more and more how to recognize my limits and how far I can push myself before God tells me, "Okay, I think you're biting off a little too much." Several times I choked this week, and after about a tear here and there (or a waterfall, if you will), I realized this isn't what He wants me to be doing. I'm accepting my prematurity and I'm focusing on what will make me the most effective servant He wants me to be. I'll still practice, I'll still study, I'll still take on challenges, but walking is a prerequisite to running still.

I love you so much. I has been brought to my attention also that I have family in the South reading my blog that aren't even Mormon. Shout out ta y'all over there!! As my nana told me when I was growing up in the boonies of Georgia, "I love you more than a hog loves slop."

Take care.

Sœur Green
P.S. Some pics:

MY COOKIES ARE FINALLY ROUND!

Wandered into a Castle and found a Fishing Museum :)

Just outside Annecy in a little town called Rumilly.

How I Learned to Love Simplicity

Update on the work here: slow, very slow. We won't be seeing a baptism this transfer, but I will get to see our investigator get baptized if I stay for at least ONE more transfer. I'm getting a little tired of packing every six weeks, but every transfer has been an adventure. This one more than others probably. My time here has been special and crucial to my spiritual and emotional growth. It's a place I will never forget with people I have truly come to love. It's a replay of Carcassonne all over again, but the French version :)

FACTS I LEARNED:

• My companion loves Zelda and Assassin's Creed. She truly is my Tahitian counterpart.

• I am handicapped in a kitchen setting. Give me any recipe, and I promise you that, despite following all the directions with great care and attentiveness, I will destroy any kind of food's level of edibility (I may have invented that word. It's been a long time since I've tried to speak proper English). Seriously, the first thought that came to my mind this week as I wrenched a batch of deformed cookies from the oven was, "I'm going to die alone."

I didn't notice this before my mission, but I have a disorder. It's the inability to take things off a to-do list once they're put on there. My brain cannot grasp the concept of prioritizing activities and goals. Even now, I'm debating whether I've truly learned to love it. IT'S PAINFUL! I've got French, Spanish, piano, "baking", making thank you cards, organizing my perpetually messy desk, making calls for appointments, updating the area book, this, that, these, those, etc. etc. etc. blah, blah *EXPLOSION*. It's disgusting.

This has impacted my ability to focus on the task at hand. My poor companion has been try to snap me out of my trance for a while now, and I'm hoping that I'm coming back to reality. I feel a little more lucid, but crazy people don't know when they're crazy, you know? It's been a fight trying to invite the Spirit back into my life to help me know what I should do to help my companion and those I teach. It's a very unpleasant feeling, I learned, when God has to shut the door on you for a minute for you to realize that you need to knock again. For a while I was getting a nice crossbreeze and progressing so much, but now I realize that God is there FOR ME. I'm not here to do His work without Him having a say in what's going to happen. I'm a little sheepish to admit that my pride got the best of me and I had to, once again, ring God's doorbell and tell Him sorry I tried to make all these changes to His house when He didn't even ask for those things. 

Priortizing. Gross, but necessary. I have to remember that I'm human. One of the ordinary ones. And the story continues. You guys should remind me every now and again to use my time wisely. I can't retain that concept for too long, haha.

Que Dieu Beni Chacun de Vous. I love you all so much. Keep being my examples. 

Sœur Green

An Experience that Changed Me

So I talked to my companion and she agreed to stop scheduling work on our P-days (preparation days) so we can actually rest from serious business. Hooray for real blog entries!! And hooray for hard-working companions who understand my need to wind down!! (She's Tahitian...it's so oxymoronic!) 

I also want to express my gratitude for all the wonderful birthday messages I received but not yet had the chance to respond to. I still love you!!

FACTS I LEARNED:

• Aix-les-Bains + Faverges = paradise

• Spaniards are just as bad as Italians when it comes to physical contact in conversation. Or maybe my American cultural bubble of personal space is bigger than normal. Comme même.

• Fact I keep being reminded of: I have the greatest family and friends. Ever. 

So I only have an hour of computer time each week now because I'm not willing to pay 5 euros for an hour and a half. Basically, I'll just quickly share an experience that changed me and hopefully will change some of your perspectives as well. 

I was on an exchange in grand Lyon last week and I had the chance to teach a Muslim man for the first time. He had told us he had snuck out of his house to hear our message because he can't let anyone find out he's learning about another religion. That's how dedicated this man was. As we dove into our lesson, we realized that we had to start at square one because this man didn't even know who Christ was or what He did. All he knew was that He was some kind of "prophet." So, as expected, we shared our testimonies. But I felt something very different this time. 

I felt gratitude beyond what I've ever felt before while teaching about the Atonement. What a crucial piece of knowledge it is to know that there is someone who loves you so much that He was willing to die for you to be able to return to live with God. How crucial it is to know that you can find happiness in your trials here in this life. 

We then went into the concept of prayer once we felt he understood who Christ was. He did not understand at all that prayer was a conversation between us and God and that we can communicate to him through the Spirit. He was incredulous for the entire lesson up until my companion and I prayed for him so that he could hear and feel what a real conversation with God was like. Immediately after, we asked him to try. 

I cry thinking about this. Never on my mission have I gotten the chance to hear someone talk to God for the first time and describe the feelings that they felt. How blessed I am to have seen that. How blessed I am to know about prayer and God's love for each of us. I encourage all of you who have all had the opportunity to utilize this blessing in your life to think about that when you are praying this week. I can't describe it really, but for me, I feel a new level of sincerity and peace. Que Dieu vous benisse, tout le monde. Je vous aime avec tout mon coeur.

Sœur Green